The Effects of Dating: 5 Ways for Guys to Get More Likes on Tinder.

Ah the beautiful world of Tinder. The endless stream of women in your area at your fingertips can be quite addicting, even to the point where you forget to go out and meet women face to face.

It has allowed the bottom feeders of society to have a chance with multiple girls because they do not have to face the fear of immediate rejection. Instead, they now can hide behind their phone screens in hopes of building rapport with women that can give them the confidence to carry out a positive interaction with her, if of course they get that far.

It is for this reason why I find Tinder awesome. I totally believe in Kazien (small incremental steps towards eventual drastic changes), and Tinder is an awesome first building block to eventually unleashing the charismatic badass inside of you that is not only confident with women, but with people in general.

However, in order to talk to women, they have to swipe right on your profile, which is another reason why I love Tinder. Think about it, why do you swipe right on a girl’s profile? You find them attractive. You see yourself wanting to get to know this person, for either (and most likely in guy’s cases) physical attraction.

The good news for you, if she swiped right too, then you automatically can assume that based off of your photos, she’s physically attracted to you as well. Give yourself a pat on the back my friend, you are a good looking male, and that is pretty cool.

However, this physical attraction really doesn’t mean a whole lot. That is because women, though physical attractiveness is important, are more concerned about how attractive you are on an emotional level. Emotional attractiveness comes down to a few factors, including interests, including destiny, status levels, body language, confidence, etc. I’ll write a whole other blog for you on emotional attractiveness for sure.

Now, on Tinder, you can’t let your emotional attractiveness shine through to the women who were lucky enough to swipe right on you. Why? Because emotional attractiveness is something that can only be shown in person. A woman is naturally guided to pursue men whom she perceives as a higher status than her and can protect and provide for her. It is simply a primal instinct she has that stretches back to the days of cavemen. You can’t show that you are going to be her rock and provider online, for the most part.

Thought I can’t promise this means she going to automatically fall for you, I can say these 5 simple profile changes that up both your physical attractiveness and emotional attractiveness can certainly give you a head start, and leave her at the very least intrigued about you.

So let’s start with number 5…

#5 Your First Picture Should Be of YOU and Show Off YOU

Listen my dude, your first picture is the one that has to pop. Think of it like a fishing lure. What is the purpose of the lure when fishing? To catch that attention of the fish of course. Having a nice and sharp hooks and having the proper technique to dangle the lure doesn’t mean anything if the lure doesn’t catch the eye of the fish. Your first picture is your most important aspect of your profile. You can’t show off the rest of these pivotal profile boasters without first funneling more women into your awesome profile, and that starts with a great first picture.

Good news, most guys are clueless and post terrible first pictures that leave little to be desired. That means you are going to automatically have a leg up on the competition and become part of the 20% percent of profiles that gauge immediate interest.

Your first rule, make the picture of you and only you. I got one rule on Tinder, and that is if your first picture is of you and all of your same sex friends, your almost always the unattractive one. We live in a world of snap judgments, meaning people are going to draw conclusions about you within a fraction of a second on a subconscious level. Most girls don’t have time to swipe through your profile to figure out which guy is really “Alex”, so they will just swipe left. Attractive girls know they have options, they know they are good looking, and they know an abundance of men who want to date her and potentially sleep with her, that means she really doesn’t care enough about you to find who you really are in a group picture.

Rule number two, make the photo pop off the screen aesthetically. You ever notice a neon sign at night? Extreme light tends to stick out in the darkness, so have a picture that literally catches her eye. Have bright and warm colors within the photo. Leave her with questions that she has to know the answers, and have a hint of boldness to balance it all out.

Lastly, display dominate body language. This is a whole other blog that I could elaborate on, but body language is a CRITICAL signal of true dominance and confidence. To keep it simple for now, display body language that is open in some sense. You obviously should be smiling and inviting, even laughing if the picture is quality, but be aware of how spread out your major joints are. The more space you are comfortable taking up, the more open you become, this shows comfort and stability within your environment, which is a subconscious trigger of female attraction.

Below is my first picture, see if you can discover the subconscious signals within my picture.

First, the photo has been edited to be more bright and colorful, so it literally pops to the eye. Secondly, my elbows and legs are spread out, which means I am displaying physical openness, and therefore comfort within my environment. I am genuinely smiling and showing off my teeth, showing more openness. In the background there are California license plates, and I am also wearing my badge to a seminar. Being from Maine, girls probably don’t see many pictures in this environment, that alone sparks curiosity. However, she could also ask what my badge was for, but it also shows I have a social status level that is attractive by showing off that I am a part of something. The California plates could also spark curiosity. For example, she could wonder if I am from California, she could wonder why I was doing out there, she could wonder if I have connections out there, there are a million different ways a girl could interpret it.

The point of these signals is to say this is who I am on a subconscious level, and here is why you should be curious. Make your profile like a lure. Make her start to think, who is this guy. Don’t be a cog in the machine with a profile picture of you and the boys out at a party, she has seen that a million times. Get something that catches her eye, make her think, “this guy is just a little different.”

Remember, colorful, fun, open, curiosity sparking, and most importantly, YOU.

#4 If You Have Pictures with Other Attractive Girls, USE THEM.

Let me introduce you to preselection.

Preselection is the idea that you become more attractive to other women when they realize you have competition. This same theory works the other way around, that is why girls with other men in their profiles can cause some competitive drive in you, or make you feel slightly uneasy.

Why is this the case? It indicates that there is competition for you and increases your status level in the eyes of women. If you show that you can date or at least positively impact attractive women, that girl who is looking at your profile is going to notice. She wants a guy who can make her feel attractive and feminine, and by having that photo of you and another attractive girl, you clearly can pull that off for her.

Women, when speaking about intimacy and attraction, are by biological definition submissive creates, men are the dominate. You are supposed to lead her into relationships or sex, you are the one sticking your penis in and she is the one receiving it. She wants a man who is masculine to expose her feminine side. By showing off your masculine, she is automatically going to find you emotionally attractive.

This photo doesn’t have to be anything special, hell it doesn’t have to be anyone whom you have been intimately related with, hell it doesn’t even have to be someone you really know. As long as you hold a positive relationship with this girl, and she is attractive, you are as good as gold.

If you are showing off your dominate traits with the girl in the photo, the effects are even better. For example, if you have your arm around her, that is a photo you would want to use. If she is looking at you in the photo, definitely use it. If your body language is open and expressive and all parties are smiling and present within the photo, definitely use it.

The context doesn’t have to be anything special, you don’t need to show off how cool your life is in this photo, just show your dominate/masculine traits, and have another woman appreciating them. Girls are some fierce creatures, subconsciously flex a little status on them, and they will come running.

Here is my preselection picture to help you understand. My arm is around her (showing dominance), we are both smiling (fun and positive emotions.). And yes, she is cute. Truth is, I never did anything with that girl, just had a fun night and made some new friends, but the effect of preselection is clearly present.

#3 Show Off What Makes You Interesting and Unique.

Listen, showing off nothing but senior pictures and pictures of you at parties isn’t going to get you more swipes. Why? It really isn’t interesting. Think about every single person on Tinder from ages 18-24, what do you think most of them are doing? They are either in class, or working, then going out on the weekends to find potential partners and have some fun.

You want to stick out from the crowd, not fit into it. Listen, Amanda doesn’t really give a shit that you get drunk with your fraternity brothers on a Saturday night. Why? Because Evan, James, Devin, and Mike are all doing the same thing. These men are a dime a dozen in the world, not to say that they do not have their own individuality that they expressing the real world, but by not showing it online, they fit in with the crowd instead of sticking out of it.

A little science lesson can explain what I mean, a male peacock gets to mate with females by showing off his feathers to potential mates. Depending on the health, size, and colors of the feathers, the female choose whether she sees the male as worthy enough to mate with her. Mating and attraction is basic biology and caused instinctual chemical reactions based off particular features, and yes that applies to humans as well.

For example, girls love humor because it shows dominance and comfort, much like the male peacock being unafraid to show off his feathers. So do yourself a favor and show off your feathers.

You are your own special and unique person who has passions and strengths that make you attractive. Girls love men who are individuals because they want to be protected. They want a man who is comfortable in his own skin, and has activities that make him passionate and excited about life, whether it be with her or without her.

By showing comfort, you are showing dominance, plus these things can become conversation starters for the women you do match with because it sparks a little curiosity in them.

If you are a gym freak, absolutely post a picture of you at the gym. If you are an athlete, post a picture of you playing your sport. If you love to do art, show off a picture of you creating art. Whatever the passion is, show it off.

Below is a picture of me participating in my favorite summertime activity, golf. The course is somewhat of a happy place for me, and perhaps your passion provides you that happy place as well.

#2 Hint at Your Personality.

Let’s see how many times I reiterate this point in this article, but women aren’t attractive to your physical traits as much as your emotional traits (dominance, entertainment, tension). Now, you can’t completely show off what makes you entertaining or personable through photos, you can drop some hints. So the question then becomes, do you have pictures of you genuinely having fun and expressing a real version of yourself? If yes, use them.

For example, if you tend to be a goofier person, then post a picture of you being silly. If you tend to me more intense, post a more intense picture. If you tend to be more laid back and relaxed, post a picture of you doing do. Though not as important as showing off your masculine traits, specific girls are attracted to specific personality traits as well.

For example, I just recently went on a few dates with a girl I met off Tinder. I tend to be goofy and high energy, and she was very relaxed. Did she find me attractive enough to have something more than a friendship for a while? Yes, but did we really hit it off, no. Things between me and that girl faded instead of intensified because we just weren’t an ideal match, and yes, that is going to happen more often than not.

I have also met multiple girls who I have been with long term off Tinder because our personalities matched on top of the fact I found their feminine traits attractive, and they found my masculine traits attractive.

Obviously this takes rapport and time to connect on a more personal level, but if you can hint at the kind of guy you are, you might catch her attention, and therefore a swipe. I would especially post a picture like this if you are feeling like you are ready for a long term relationship over casual dating.

This is my personality picture. Goofy and expressive of who I am.

#1 Your Bio.

For the finally, lets talk about your bio.

If she gets to your bio and actually gives it a read, she’s definitely at the very least intrigued, so good for you, because f’in right you’re a boss.

Create some tension within your bio, and show off who you are, but also don’t be too cute with it. Attention spans today have never been shorter, and that is before the fact we get into the fact that at this point you are just some face on a screen to the girls who see your profile. Point is, you really don’t have a ton of rope to show off your attractiveness. This means your bio should be decisive, clear, and entertaining.

One rule of thumb that I use not only in online dating, but also day and night gaming is entertaining yourself. Remember, women want to be lead, they biologically want to be the submissive in the game of attraction. So many dudes fail to be successful with women because they try to impress girls in the initial attraction process instead of just being individual and secure with their attractiveness. Let me tell you here first, you are completely screwed, you don’t need a woman to prove that you are attractive, you already are, don’t be afraid to express it. However more on that in another article.

The same principle applies to your Tinder bio, so ask yourself this question. What makes me special and what entertains me? For me it is my passion points, my proudest individual achievement, and a taste of my sense of humor. Here is a picture of my bio.

My passions include coaching, teaching, and writing, all of which are listed. My individual achievement of becoming an author is listed. I also use a little bit of self deprecating humor and sarcasm to round out my personality of goofiness. (I don’t recommend using self depreciation without first establishing and showing off your dominant traits).

If we dive a little deeper we see that I keep my bio cryptic which causes mystery. Instead of saying “author of The Effects of Action, a book on self help and confidence, I just simply say author. Writing a book at 22 is something that makes me pretty unique, and not outright saying what is about makes her wonder what kind of guy I am. It shows status, and shows mystery, and that is a lethal combination. The same goes for my blog, the coach is a little obvious due to my basketball emoji, because shows off another passion point of mine, basketball. It shows I am proud, I am individual, but I don’t need your approval (dominance). It shows I have interests and a personality (entrainment). It also is slightly mysterious and sparks curiosity (tension). What does dominance + entertainment + tension equal? Female attraction and a swipe right.

So, be yourself, but don’t completely show your hand. Think of it like a cliffhanger in a TV series. When an episode in a book ends, a spike of curiosity hits you, and you find yourself dying to know what happens next. Then, you do one of two things. You either keep watching, or you can’t wait to get back to cuddling your couch and watching that next episode after dealing with life. Now imagine having that effect on girls reading your Tinder profile…

In conclusion…

Remember that thought these points will help you get more swipes, it doesn’t mean you automatically can start landing numbers and dates with girls. You have to continue to show your attractive traits to your swipees in order to achieve the overarching purpose of why you are on the app in the first place. Perhaps we can dive into this at a later date, but for now, I am going to be a little mysterious, and leave you on a cliff hanger ;).

Until next time.